December 2011
Me: Why am I still single?
Brain: You're weird as shit, lol.
Body: And you're fat lmao.
Face: Plus you're pretty ugly too lmfao.
Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
gay male: i'm gay
straight female: OMG UR GAY LET'S BE BFFS CAN WE GO SHOPPING TOGETHER OMG
gay female: i'm gay
straight female: EW GET AWAY FROM ME U DYKE DONT TOUCH ME GROSS LESBIAN GERMS
And let's not forget -
Gay female: I'm gay
Straight male: OMG SO HOT. DAMN. CAN I FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE SOMEONE FILMS IT. TOUCH HER BOOOBS. BOOOOOOOOBS.
Gay male: I'm gay
Straight male: HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOMO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FUCKIN HOMO. BACKS AGAINST THE WALL GUYS.
I'm tired of being single
Doctor: Are you sexually active
Me: Does it look like anything would want to have sex with this
WHEN SOMEONE CALLS YOUR CRUSH UGLY.
most-hilarious-moments:
yokolemon:
when liam and noel meet up at a cafe when they decide to mend their issues i want them to start sobbing and i want them to hold eachother and fall to the floor and scREAM and i want all of this on video
REBLOG IF YOU WOULD ATTEND A TUMBLR USER...
omfgsomepersonactually:
We’d wear t-shirts with our urls on it.
And we could party together.
that would be fun :)
friend: *sees picture of member of my favourite band* oh, they're quite good-looking!
me: do you think so
me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
friend: what
me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they
When you plan a joke in your head and you think...
omfgsomepersonactually:
When you go back to school , look around , and...
omfgsomepersonactually:
I hate it when I'm at school nothing crazy happens...
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Every time i catch my parents in a bad mood.
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When you leave tumblr for a few hours and come...
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When I'm walking to school in the morning...
With my headphones on, I feel like:
Without my headphones on…
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"I want a twilight theme park"
I think you already have one. It’s called a forest.
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's...
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